The One About Infertility

As you may or may not know, Mark and I just celebrated our 5 year anniversary (yay!). When we first got married, we decided that we would start having kids after 5 years of marriage. We got married after only 3 and a half months of knowing each other, so it was a pretty good idea to take some time to get to know each other before we had kids and no time for each other. Around 4 years I started asking, "When we said 5 years, did that mean we'd have a baby at 5 years? Or start trying for a baby at 5 years?" We prayed and decided that it was time to start trying. That was a year and a half ago, and, as you know, we still have no children.

The first 6-8 months of trying it was really easy to have the "when it happens, it happens" attitude. Most women transitioning off of birth control take several months to have their normal bodies back. Apparently, I am not most women. And it's often hard to face that fact. Don't get me wrong, I am truly happy for my friends and family who are able to get pregnant so easily. I adore their children, and look forward to meeting many new little ones. Those lives are so precious and sweet. But sometimes I just get so jealous. I'm not used to being jealous, since I'm pretty much amazing and usually have no need to be jealous of others (haha, also I'm hilarious). And since we're commanded to "multiply and replenish the earth", and we're constantly counseled by our prophets to raise righteous families, and everyone around me is pregnant, then why is it so hard for me?! (insert sob here)

I'm sorry. My point in writing this was not supposed to be my pity party. I just needed to give a little background so I could relate an experience I had while working in the temple yesterday. I was assigned to sit in the celestial room for a while. When there is nobody else there we are allowed to read scriptures, so that's what I was doing. I was reading in 1 Nephi Chapter 17, right before Nephi is commanded to build a ship. Verse 3 taught me something. Before I explain, let me tell you about the inner struggle I have been having. I felt like if I was supposed to have children, then my body would be ready and just work when it was supposed to. Being an emotionally unstable person already, I have been hesitant to try medications that will change my hormones and help me conceive. I've heard horror stories about women turning into monsters (in mood only) due to different drugs in order to have babies, and I didn't want that. "If God wants me to have a baby, He can help put one there," was my attitude. Verse 3 changed this for me: "And thus we see that the commandments of God must be fulfilled. And if it so be that the children of men keep the commandments of God he doth nourish them, and ^astrengthen them, and provide means whereby they can accomplish the thing which he has commanded them;" (italics added). For me, that doesn't say that God will change my body or fix it or anything of the sort. For me, that meant that there are other things that are provided in my day to help people like me fulfill the commandments of God. (insert a little bit of peace here)

I'm still not pregnant, but my heart is changing and I'm starting to feel okay with getting extra help from modern medicine. It may turn me into a grouch, but my Heavenly Father wants me to have children and I am willing to make the sacrifice. Let's just hope Mark and I feel the same way when I'm actually on the medicine...

First Post of 2012!

So far, we are loving the new year. I've had some changes in my life, and lots of updates!

I have a job! I'm teaching a couple of classes at ITT Technical Institute. It was an extremely stressful and crazy start, but I feel like I've got everything under my belt now. I love my students (for the most part). Many of them are returned students, and most are older than me. We have a lot of fun during class, and I think some of them are starting to enjoy math (or at least not hate it anymore). We only have a few weeks left for this quarter, and then I'll be starting 3 classes instead of just 2. This quarter I'm teaching Thursday and Friday nights. Pretty lame schedule, if you ask me, but at least I'm working. Next quarter I'll be teaching Monday and Tuesday nights, and Tuesday morning. It will be a much better schedule! I'm looking forward to it.

I am a volunteer! A couple of weeks ago I started working at the Albuquerque LDS temple. I work the morning shift every Tuesday, and it has been such a blessing in my life! I love the feelings of peace and quiet that I can enjoy all morning. I also love learning more about what goes on in the temple, and how everything is organized and run. I'm so glad that I have the time to take this opportunity without having the stress of a full-time job or children (although I would love either/both of those things).

I make bread! And other things. I've become quite the homemaker since moving here. My mom taught me how to make bread a long time ago, but I rarely ever made it because Utah had such. good. bread. However, Albuquerque bread tastes like sandpaper. So now I make all of our bread. Also, thanks to Pinterest, I've started cooking lots of other things. Pretty much I'm amazing :)

We've started looking at houses! Our lease ends in July, so we've begun exploring different areas and houses to see where we want to live. We are pretty close to making a decision, so I'll keep you posted on that.

Last of all... I've lost 10 pounds! I started Weight Watchers last year, and have had great success. I love how great I feel and I love the way I look. If you are looking for a change in lifestyle and eating habits, I would totally suggest weight watchers. It's awesome!

Thanksgiving 2011

Hey all! I've been such a slacker, and I have SOOO much to talk about. We'll start with last weekend. Mark and I met up with his dad in Moab for Thanksgiving. We had so much fun! We did a ton of hiking around Arches National Park, and Mark did a lot of climbing. We almost made it to all the trails, but we were so pooped by the end we decided it wasn't worth it. Mark and I also biked Slick Rock Trail. It was probably one of the hardest things I've done physically, but also so amazing! There were some times that I didn't think I could make it. I thought I'd have to have someone come fly me out. But, we both did it! Here's a few pictures to go along, and a video too.

And onto the biking pictures...

And, a video. We had lots of videos, but they accidentally got deleted. My bad.

Personal Progress

Howdy! For all of you who don't know yet (which I'm assuming is most of all 8 of you), I've added a link to the right of this post called Our Personal Progress. A friend and I decided to do personal progress from the young women's program in the LDS church, and we're blogging our experiences. If you'd like to read an uplifting thing every now and then, feel free to pop over there! Also, if you're interested in also doing personal progress, you can find the program requirements at personalprogress.lds.org. Hopefully it will be an uplifting experience for all! Also, if you'd like to be an author on that blog, let me know and I'd love to have you there :)

Big Plate

I've come to have a lot on my plate in the last little bit.

First off, I finally got a calling in my LDS ward! I'll be working with the young women as a secretary in the presidency. I'm super excited about it! I'll be in charge of the personal progress program, which I plan on doing along with the girls. It will be so good for me. SO exciting!

Next, I've been on weight watchers for a few weeks. My weight and height had put me technically overweight. I'm not saying that I think I'm fat, but I could definitely stand to lose a few pounds. So far, it's been great! I've lost over 5 pounds, and recently bought a bunch of size MEDIUM shirts! I'm so happy about that.

Also, I'm starting to get into essential oils to help with ailments. For example, I'm using one called slim and sassy (a mix of a bunch of metabolism boosting oils) to aid me in my weight loss quest. This week Mark and I went to the dentist and each of us have cavities. We're going to use essential oils to make them heal and recover. God has provided all of the things we need, and the oils I use are the purest forms of those things. So, I'll keep you posted on how we do with those.

I've also been keeping up on the biking goal I set when we moved here. This morning I biked 25 miles! Hopefully someday soon I can have a real bicycle. I'll keep you posted on that too. Thanks for checking in on me!

Dear World

My heart aches right now. I wish I could be close to my family, so I could be with them through this trying time. I've mentioned before my cousin, Jake, who was fighting cancer. His story is here. He passed away about an hour ago.

Thank you to all of his neighbors and friends who were there for him and his family during these past months. There are no words to express how grateful I am for you taking care of my aunt while she struggled through watching her child die. She still needs you. They all do. I wish I could be there for them, but I'll have to rely on you.

God bless.

High Time

I suppose it's time I blogged again. So much for the 3 posts a week goal...

Last week Mark's mom, Kathy, came to visit. She stayed for a full week, and for 4 days of that Mark was out of town. Lucky me!! We had a fabulous time together. Some of the things we did:

• Rode the tram and took a short hike on top of the Sandia "mountains" (<- that has "" because I'm from Utah)
• Santa Fe - museum, dinner, shopping
• House hunting
• Cooked and ate delicious food
• Read fun books
• Exercised
• Relaxed
• Explored Petroglyph National Monument
• Went to the temple

We may or may not have done other things, too. But we had so much fun that I've forgotten the small details of what we were doing to have fun :)

Things have been pretty quiet around here since she left. One big fun fact is that we've borrowed a bicycle for me to ride around town for my workouts. I went 14 miles today! The bike only has one speed (it's kind of run down, and used to be a 24 speed mountain bike), so it takes a while to get anywhere. The speed it's on is good for going uphill. However, it's hard to work up speed on a nearly flat surface. Downhill is obviously fine.

One other fun fact is I may have a job by the end of the year! I'm going to the same event that got Mark hired at Sandia (the Science and Engineering Expo) at the end of October. Until then, I'll stay content with the relaxing and peaceful life I live.